Fear

As a kid I was pretty fearless, I wasn't afraid to try new things, wasn't afraid of heights, needles or spiders.... one family vacation at Club Med I even braved a flying trapeze.

Okay, so maybe I was afraid to let go of the bar, but still, at 7 that's pretty ballsy

But as I've gotten older, I realize that I a: have acquired several irrational fears and/or b: I have a wild imagination. 

Some of these fears include getting trapped in a bathroom (shout out to my good friends who recognize this fear and stand in front of the door so I don't have to lock it), getting stuck in an elevator (b/c ya know, I could plummit to my death or get really really thirsty or have to go to the bathroom or something before I get out), getting trapped in a subway/metro (yeah b/c I ride Subways ALL the time, so this is pretty practical) and more recently fear for my dogs life while I'm away.

I'm starting to think I shouldn't have children, because if I freak out about what my dog is doing while I'm gone, how much am I going to worry about my kid.

Here is where my wild imagination comes into play. Today I asked my bestie Allison if she has these same fears about her dog, she said "oh yeah, I'm so afraid Boags is going to chew up my leather sofa while im at work" - these aren't the same fears that I share. In my mind today Parker is at home bleeding out. I'm pretty sure I left a really sharp knife drying on a dishcloth on the counter (this part is true), and inevitably Parker is going to jump on the counter to check for food (most likely NOT true), pull the rag down and be stabbed by said knife (HIGHLY unlikely), and since Chris and I are away all day, we won't be able to save him in time. RIP little buddy. (HA! time to check in the psych ward)

Totally getting one of these for Parker one day .... only life size

Let me be totally clear though (so you don't think I'm completely nuts), I do not have these fears daily, and they're not always this extreme... sometimes my fear is as simple as I forgot to give Parker his breakfast (which has happened, so I wouldn't call that completely irrational), or I forgot to lock the door.

I guess as we get older we just realize that we aren't invincible, life is precious, and it would really suck to lose an hour of our precious time stuck in an elevator (c'mon cherie berry, keep these elevators up to code!). Also, sometimes fear can lead to appreciation - when I get home and see Parker hasn't been wounded or starved, I am SO happy, when that bathroom door swings open without a hitch, the sun shines a little brighter. So I'll look at my fears as a good not totally crazy thing, its keeping me on my toes, and reminds me how lucky I really am.

Reality: I've probably  just gotten a little more crazy, but hey! crazy can be a good thing... right?!